


living a fanfiction

by wizardsquirrel



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Alternate Universe - Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlor, Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Fluff, Miscommunication, Texting, but in a comedic way not an angst way
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:01:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28599624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wizardsquirrel/pseuds/wizardsquirrel
Summary: Remus worked at a coffee shop between a tattoo parlor and a florist, and it felt that it was long past time for its fanfiction to start.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Thomas Sanders Shorts Anxiety Character | Andy Sanders/Thomas Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24





	living a fanfiction

**Author's Note:**

> HI WELCOME THIS IS A SECRET SANTA GIBFT WHICH I COULDNT DO IN ONE PART SO :]

Remus worked at a coffee shop between a tattoo parlor and a florist, and it felt that it was long past time for its fanfiction to start.

It made sure it was the main character. It drew heart shaped freckles on its cheeks every day before work, and the rest of its makeup looked like a toxic waste spill.

It wore as short of a skirt as it could, with ripped fishnets underneath, just in case its true love would drop something and it was there by happenstance to pick it up.

You could never be too prepared, it told its brother and its best friend, also known as its brother’s boyfriend. Roman had agreed, but Logan had just groaned and rolled his eyes.

Remus figured he still had a ruler stuck up his butt after a long day of tutoring.

But back to its story. It even walked to work! How fanfictionesque was that? Its legs hated it, but, hey, it had to do what it had to do.

Maybe today would be the day it would find its soulmate. Its barista apron had pins with puns and pins from concerts and pins for pride, and, as it put it on that morning, it quietly hoped some cute queer would notice and compliment them.

The bell above the door rang, and Remus straightened out its skirt.

“Hewwo, welcome to this coffee shop,” it said, not looking up, “it’s not Starbucks but I can’t remember what it is, what can I do for you today?”

“I see why you have yet to find your true love,” Logan said bleakly.

Remus’ disappointment in not finding its soulmate was brief before its eyes lit up. “Logan!” it exclaimed. “Whatcha want? Anything, on the house!”

“Oh, I don’t want anything- I just came by to let you know that there’s a new tattoo artist at the shop next door.

“Oh?”

“They seemed your type, so I told them to stop by here, on me. Please do not mess it up, as I am getting a tattoo from them next week.”

“What’s their name?” Remus asked.

“Patton.“

“Patton,” Remus repeated. “Got it.”

Logan waved briefly before turning to leave.

The moment the door closed again, Remus squealed. This was going to be it! Their fanfiction was finally coming together!

All day, it waited. Every time the bell above the door rang, it perked up, even more than usual, in the hopes of meeting its fanfiction catalyst.

Except there was disappointment at every turn.

And then someone new walked in.

They had piercings everywhere it was possible to have piercings and more. Their arms were covered in gorgeous tattoos, and their hair was dyed black and purple.

Oh, this has to be Patton, Remus thought. Alright, alright, don’t mess this up. “Hiya, what can I getcha?”

“Just fuck me up, please.”

“With pleasure,” Remus agreed, winking. It quickly turned around and second guessed the choice of winking.

It had practiced every day in the mirror for years, it was sure it hadn’t looked wonky the way its winking had when it was younger.

But what if that came off weird, or creepy?

It glanced behind itself as it grabbed a cup, and the customer seemed more amused than anything.

Oh thank goodness.

“Hot or cool?” Remus asked, going back to the drink. 

“Whichever you think I need compensation for,” the customer said, winking.

Remus’ face flushed. My own move used against me. “I guess you could use some cooler eyeliner,” it said carefully.

The customer chuckled and Remus’ heart sped a bit.

It grabbed the biggest cup, added some ice, a few too many shots of espresso, then a few more, some milk, and dusted it with a deadly amount of cinnamon.

“Here you go,” it said, sliding the drink across the counter.

The customer looked it dead in the eye as they took a long sip without missing a beat. “How much’ll that be?” they asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” Remus said. “If you want to tip, though, I take numbers.”

The customer smiled somewhere between a smirk and a grin.”Fuck yeah, I’ll tip,” they said.

They grabbed a pen from the cup on the counter and scribbled their number on a napkin, handing it over with a ten dollar bill.

Before Remus could protest, though, they winked and waved, saying, “See you around,” as they left.

Oh well. Remus wasn’t too worried about it. More likely than not, it would have a chance to give back the money later.

Possibly even on a date.

Remus practically squealed at the thought, clutching its hands to its chest as it fought back the urge to daydream.

The bell above the door rang again, though, and Remus quickly pocketed the napkin and the money, and welcomed the customer with a, “Hewwo!”

“Hewwo!” the customer said back. Their voice was light and airy and Remus felt like it might have been that of an angel.

Was it possible to fall in love twice in ten minutes?

It looked up to see a blond-haired boy who looked like he had just fallen from heaven.

He had cutesy bandaids on his nose and arms, and round glasses, and light blue eyeshadow that contrasted his dark green eyes, and freckles in the shape of hearts-

“Same freckles!” Remus blurted.

The customer’s eyes widened. “Same freckles! And I love your makeup.”

“I love yours too! Blue is, like, my third favorite color.”

“After?”

“Toxic waste spill green and neon dog piss yellow,” Remus said immediately.

The blond boy giggled. “Gross!”

“What’re you looking for today?” Remus asked as they stopped giggling. “We’ve got some poggers bakery items, and I can make a mean macchiato.”

“What bakery item would you recommend?”

“I like the cheese danish!”

“I don’t know what that is, but I’ll take it! And I’ll take a machhithingy, too.”

“Any flavor in mind?” Remus asked.

“Do they come in caramel?”

“Sure do!” Remus said cheerily, using the tongs to grab the cheese danish. It slid into the bakery bag, and Remus handed it to Patton. “The macch’ll take a minute.”

“Okay! How much is it?”

“It’s on the house,” Remus said impulsively. It would just have Logan pay for it.

“Oh! Thanks.”

“No problem!” Remus said, flashing a smile.

It quietly hoped the blond boy would be a returning customer, and that, if Patton was interested in a relationship, they’d be open to it being- well, open.

Remus was dumb, though, and, as in any fanfiction, had made a crucial mistake- the blond boy, and not the person with the piercings, was Patton.

So when Logan asked if Patton was its type, Remus said yes, of course, and that it had even gotten their number.

“I’m thrilled for you,” Logan said, his tone not changing. “Have you messaged them yet?”

“Not yet,” Remus admitted. “I’ll do that now!” It took the napkin from its pocket and flattened it out to see-

“Uh, Logan,” Remus said slowly, “Patton doesn’t have a nickname, right?”

Logan frowned. “Not that I’m aware of. Why?”

“It says ‘Virgil Storm,” Remus said.

Logan looked over its shoulder. “Did you get the wrong person’s number, or did Patton give you a fake number?”

“I don’t think it’s fake,” Remus said. “They seemed into the flirting. I’ll text it and see.”

It put in the number and saved it under the name Virgil Storm.

**remus:** hewwo

**virgil storm:** hey

**virgil storm:** im assuming you’re the cute barista yea?

**remus:** I Am A Barista

**virgil storm:** lmao

**virgil storm:** and an eyeliner critic

**virgil storm:** like jeez, if my eyeliner should be cooler you should just do it yourself

**remus:** what’s your location

**virgil storm:** lmao

**remus:** try me bitch i will walk over there in heels and do your eyeliner for you

**virgil storm:** i mean if you ever want to stop by the flower shop my lunch break is at twelve, bring your own eyeliner tho

**remus:** you. are a florist.

**virgil storm:** yea what abt it?

**remus:** you do not seem the type

**virgil storm:** yeah well my dad thinks flowers are feminine and therefore gay so i learned how to say fuck you in victorian flower language and that turned me gay

**remus:** i have a crush on you

**remus:** i showed you my feelings pls respond

**virgil storm:** LMAO

**virgil storm:** when do you get off work?

**remus:** i don’t know i just leave

**virgil storm:** lmao okay does five tomorrow night work

**remus:** yeah that works

**remus:** but uh is that for a date or do you need help burying a body

**remus:** wait nvm same thing

**virgil storm:** i feel that

**remus:** spiritually or sexually

**virgil storm:** spiritually, i’m not mary shelley

**remus:** #iwascatfished

**virgil storm:** sorry to disappoint lmao

Remus put its phone in its pocket. “I think I just got the wrong person’s number.”

Logan groaned. “How do you get the wrong person’s number?”

“I don’t know!” Remus said defensively. “What does Patton look like?”

“He’s blond, he has round glasses, and I believe he has green eyes.”

“Shit. That cutie was Patton?” Remus blurted.

“Those are your words, not mine.”

“He didn’t look like a tattoo artist.”

“You don’t look like a barista.”

“I’m dumb.”

“That’s correct.”

“You’re dumb.”

“That’s a falsehood.”

“Do you think he’ll come back to the coffee shop, or should I go over to the tattoo parlor?” Remus asked suddenly. “I want to ask him for his number...”

“I don’t know. Perhaps wait until tomorrow after your shift to drop by the tattoo parlor, that way you won’t miss him if he does come to the coffee shop.”

“I wouldn’t go to the tattoo parlor during my shift!”

“Yes, you would.”

Remus sighed. “Yes, I would,” it admitted begrudgingly.

Its phone buzzed in its pocket and it quickly checked it.

**virgil storm:** forgot to tell you i already have two bfs, they’re chill w me dating around but i wanted to let you know so ya know what you’re in for

**remus:** FUCK YEAH

**remus:** ILL SEDUCE THEM TOO

**virgil storm:** i can not wait to watch you do that

**virgil storm:** thomas is rlly easily flustered so like js but if you flirt with him he’ll blush like crazy

**virgil storm:** the way to anxiety’s heart is. idk i just told him he was my boyfriend one day and it worked out

**remus:** h. his name is anxiety

**virgil storm:** yea he’s non-binary

**remus:** OH OKAY

**remus:** i almost named myself toilet

**virgil storm:** i’m canceling our date and taking you to therapy instead

**remus:** noooo don’t take me to therapy ahaha you’re so sexy


End file.
